Well ****

There's nothing quite like the epiphanic feeling of having a bad depressive day, trying to figure out where your life went wrong (again) and having a long stream of thought going back and back as far as you can remember...and realizing after all these years that out of the dozen or so things you wanted to be when you grew up, the only one that wasn't completely fictional was the hermit living in a damp cave.

So remember, and warn the kids: when they tell you you can be anything you want when you grow up: it's a lie. They mean you can grow up to be anything that's a real thing, and they hope you'll be something that'll make a lot of money.

Screw you, reality. I'd still rather be a fictional character.